Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Having (or not having) babies is a deeply personal matter that some are more open about, while others prefer to keep the decision close to their heart. Having said that, I've been totally impressed by the diverse, non-judgmental online articles giving a voice to women around the world who decided to opt out of motherhood, or are just simply unsure about it. The decision is never easy and many factors go into it, but knowing that others go through the same thing, it's always reassuring, don't you think?

So today I'd love to share a bunch of thoughtful article links and quotes that I've been reading lately, about women and man who decided, one way or another, that parenthood is not in their future and they are totally cool with that...

'I’m going to rip the bandaid off and get the hard part of this story over with - I’m 35 years old, and I don’t want to have children. It’s not that I’m trying to save the world from overpopulation, or that I’m scared my child is going to grow up a victim of climate change. Or even that I’m nervous to try and find out that I can’t have kids… It’s just what I know and feel in my gut: I’m not meant to be a mother.'

'People often confuse 'having children' with 'being a grown-up'.

'I once heard a comedian say, 'never ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you actually see a baby’s head coming out of her legs.' Sage advice - too bad no one ever takes it. I can't tell you how many times people asked me if I was pregnant, if I was planning on getting pregnant or what I was waiting for to get pregnant.'

'But when strangers ask about my plans for a child-free life, it can come off as if they're really asking what kind of person I am.'

'If I had a child today, I'm sure I would love her more than I can comprehend. But I'm also pretty sure I wouldn't love my life...'

'Having a baby doesn't define a woman. Being a kind and loving soul does.'

'It all felt very real all of a sudden, in a way that it never has before. And with that, I entered the mourning process for the child we most likely will never have.'

'Something weird is happening as I get older... I want babies…less and less.'

Any thoughts?

P.S: What's your perfect number?
P.P.S: Plus, this lovely series.

(Photo via For Emma, Forever Ago)


Anonymous said...

what a great subject to open for a conversation. i myself struggle with the idea of motherhood and seeing that so many other women feel unsure or reluctend, makes me feel like im not alone.

Camila Faria said...

The social pressure a woman feel to have children is huge. So glad to see people talking about this subject more and more.

Lena P Cox said...

Don’t do it if you don’t want to. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing is wrong with not having children.
In fact I waited 7 and a half years and now I know from the amount of anxieties I have had all those years that I could have stayed without. Of course I love my children, I just now watch them in this wicked world dealing with many of the same anxieties. It is not saying life is not worth living, it is just saying you can’t reverse it once you do it. You should not have to be pressured nor encouraged.
Please don’t let another person make you feel you should.
Yesterday I was told a mother lost her adult children, another buried hers. So nobody needs to say what and how you should feel.
This world is ruled by the devil as of now and until God takes back control we will see suffering. Have children after God takes back control. I’m one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and we never pressure people to have children in this system of things. If you decide to come in our religion you will be more encouraged to not have children and you will be surrounded by many who “chose to stay without children“.
Love ya dear

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