What's your stand on marriage?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ever since I finished reading Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, I have relationships and marriage on my mind. Elizabeth has a very honest approach to the issue and I admire it. Her witty and brilliant journey to find real love is so compelling and thought provoking. After her first failed marriage she found love but was terrified to remarry - however, in the end the skeptic makes peace with marriage.

This made me think about our friends. Probably half of them are married and the other half are in committed relationships. One particular couple came to mind: they've been together for ten maybe fifth teen years. They have children, home, joined bank accounts. Although unmarried, they may occasionally refer to each other as husband or wife but they truly feel comfortable with the set up they are in. Another close couple friends got married after being together for 14 years because they decided to have a baby.

So, sweets, I would love to know: is marriage important to you? Are you married? After how many years of dating, living together did you get hitched? Planning to get married? Or it's not really for you? Are you in a committed relationship? Is it you or your boyfriend who doesn't want to get married? Do you think you would miss out on something special if you didn't officially get married? Let's chat and please be honest :) xo

P.S: If you feel more comfortable, you can always leave your comment anonymously.

76 comments:

Jen Daiker said...

I've been happily married going on our fifth year and I love it. I'm not sure it's for everyone but I believe when you find the right person you'll know when it feels right.

I didn't think I'd every get married. Didn't think it was for me but then Mr. Right came and everything else fell out the window.

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

My hubs and I were together for 8 months when we moved in together and dated for 2 years before he proposed. We got married right after our 3 year dating anniversary. Marriage is important to me, I wouldn't want to have children without being married first. However, I know some couples, like friends of my parents, who have been together for years and years and never been married. Just depends on the couple.

Faith J. said...

Hi there, I think marriage is a good thing, though I was very content and happy being single. I was so happy that I didn't want to get married! I dated casually, but it took a determined and trustworthy man to win my heart!

I didn't get married until I was 36, and because of our personal convictions on purity, did not live together until after we were married. We dated for one year before he proposed and had a 6-month engagement. It has been wonderful. I think the reason people say marriage is "hard work" is because it requires selflessness, and a commitment to love and be friends with your spouse day in and day out.

Sarah said...

Eep, I really enjoyed this post. :)

I'm only 22, and I've been dating for about 4 years plus now. I've always been big on marriage, and it's been my dream to get hitched by 25. I love the idea of marriage - sharing your life with another who loves you just as much or even more. Marriage is definitely something I'd like to happen to me some years down the road. But right now, I'm thinking getting married by 25 might seem a little too soon for me. Though it's surely on my list!

At the start of my committed relationship with my boyfriend, we spoke about our stands on marriage, and if this relationship is headed in that direction. I've always believed in getting into a relationship with the goal of getting married. Though whether it lasts till then or not is another issue. :)

So yes, marriage is really important to me, and I think I would rather upset if I didn't end up getting married.

xx

Tish said...

Oh...this is a hard one. I go back and forth on marriage so often. I know deep down I want it, but I know right now I'm far from ready with the person I'm with. Maybe that means something...maybe it doesn't. We've been together for a year and a half and it's been a crazy bumpy cluster eff lol...I chalk it up to just the way my cookie has always crumbled.

Something Old, Something New said...

I'm currently single, but I deifnitely believe in marriage! I think it's something that is important to me and I look forward to having in my life some day. While it may not be for everyone and I certainly understand if people do not prefer it, I think it is important!

Eliza Jane said...

What an interesting question!! I'm going to love reading people's answers. My mother and step-father have been together for almost 20 years, but they never married. They call each other "husband" and "wife", and I call him my "step-dad", and his sons my "brothers", but they're only in a committed relationship. Actually, my mother was with my father for 10 years, and didn't marry him, either. She doesn't believe in marriage.

I, on the other hand, have the stereotypical little girl's dream about my own wedding. I love the symbolism and tradition of it, and can't wait for my own someday (hopefully). I don't think it's necessary to be married, because I think the same principals apply to a serious/forever relationship with or without the legal piece of paper. I definitely, though, don't think marriage is just for a man and a woman, and allowing gay people to marry is something I'm very passionate about. I believe we should all have the choice.

Belly B said...

I believe in marriage but sometimes it's hard to be 100% sure when you see people getting divorced all the time. Still, I personally put my faith in marriage and love :)

<3 Belly B

cashmereandcandy said...

Hubs and I dated for about 9 months before I moved across the country with him (after graduating college). We lived together for about 2 years before he proposed, and were engaged for just under two years.

After a year of living together, and the subject NEVER coming up, I started to develop my own, personal "drop dead date." I've always had this thing: I want to get married (tradition, religion, security, etc), so if he didn't, then he didn't want me enough. I've realize that not everyone cares about tradition or religion, and that's where individuality comes in.

HOWEVER, I do believe there are a LOT more women that are trying to convince themselves they don't want to be married in order to satisfy a stereotype (she's independent and doesn't need him, etc etc) or please the guy (and how is that equality!?). I think it's fair to avoid marriage, and it's fair to want a wedding - as long as you're true to yourself.

<3
aj
P.S. I just joined WP:: http://cashmereandcandy.wordpress.com/

Hannah said...

I agree with Faith J. - We dated for 3 1/2 years before getting married, but conviction on purity meant that my husband and I didn't live together until we were married at 22. I wouldn't have it any other way - marriage has been hard work, but wonderful! Like she said, it requires putting the goals and interests of others before your own, because unlike simply "being in a relationship," you don't have an "escape route" anymore. It's not like people who aren't married aren't committed to each other (my wonderful, unmarried neighbors have been together 9 years, and they definitely love each other!), but I think marriage kicks it up a notch. It's on paper, so you're in it for the long haul, and it only survives if you put the other person first. Anyway... that's my 2 cents. :-)

jillian :: cornflake dreams. said...

i just got engaged a couple of months ago and i SO excited to get married. my fiance's oldest brother has been in a committed relationship with his fiance for 10+years, they just bought and remodeled a home together but they have no plans to actually get married. i know that a lot of people have the argument that marriage is just a piece of paper and it's the relationship that matters and i agree-- BUT i think why not!? why not celebrate your relationship with your friends and family :) SO v glad we're going to do the whole wedding, honeymoon, marriage (happily every after....) bit :) xoxo jillian:: cornflake dreams

just sayin' said...

I have been married for 13 years(14 in August) my marriage and the commitment it symbolizes is VERY important to me. However, it is NOT the same for everyone and I respect that. We dated for a year and a half before we got engaged and then got married about 2 years after we started dating. I find it gives our 3 children a tremendous amount of security and a feeling of belonging. Having siad that.....I grew up in a single parent home and whenever my mom had a significant other, I felt better about our whole situation. it took some pressure off of us children that we were responsible somehow for our mother's happiness. i think it's better to go through life with a partner.....married or not.

Amy said...

married to my best friend, I told him I never wanted to marry when we met.
We were together 6 years living together before one day it just seemed right, so we had a very small wedding just family invited and we are celebrating our 6 year married anniversary this week. Being together for 12 years now a baby and a ton of life lessons. I believe marriage isn't for everyone and too many people do it because they think it is what they have to do. living with a person is the best thing you can do to get to know the real deal and if you are happy just living with each other than, hey nothing else needs to be said.
Amy

Diana Mieczan said...

Eliza, I totally agree! We should all have the choice.

marissa said...

my parents got divorced when i was little, and i always told myself that i would never let that happen. that my marriage (if and when it should happen) will be a happy and supportive one that will last forever.
i really can't wait to marry my boyfriend, best friend and favorite person in the world. that will be a good day. ;)

FRANKIE HEARTS FASHION said...

I do believe in marriage and I am married....but I do believe that it's not for everyone and it's perfectly ok for couples to have committed relationships without having to have the "marriage" title. Whatever works for you is how it should be! xo

Diana Mieczan said...

What an amazing comments! Keep them coming.

Heba said...

I swear I was thinking about the same thing yesterday
I live in Egypt and I'm Muslim too ,Muslim Egyptian girls are allowed to date BUT no sex before marriage ,sex before marriage is not acceptable for us so for some girls it is kind of goal or a purpose in their lives however for others including me it is not a goal ,I mean every girl in the world wanna get married and have a family right? but it is not a reason for living I still wanna focus on my career and enjoy my life as a single girl without responsibilities.

http://girlynote.blogspot.com

Abby said...

Marriage is important for me as well... I feel like it's a strong symbol for a commitment between two people that can't be easily broken... I know that things can happen, but I would want to be married to someone "until death do us part."

But I understand that people don't need to be under the stamp of marriage to feel the same way. =)

Lisa Lisa Lisa said...

One day, I would love to marry. I consider it a bond with another human that I'll share with only that person. I am concerned about how our society seems to twist us away from each other, marring our relationships. It could be that I am young and so I am still at the whims of my emotions. I kind of hope I always am. One day, marriage. For now, Masters Degree :)

miss twinkletoes said...

I am a newlywed (kind, since sept) and got married after dating 2.5 years. I have to say not a lot has changed in our relationship, compared to just living together. But I really love being married to my husband. I like knowing that we will be there for eachother and that I have him there to share my life with. I could of done it both ways, but marriage suits me fine!!!

www.twinkletoes-golddangles.blogspot.com

Chapstick Fanatic said...

I always thought I would NEVER get married. I saw marriage crumble around me and I saw how messy divorce was. Even committed relationships seemed like something I would never consider. Then I met my now husband and that all changed. We were together 5 years before we were married and have been married for 5 months. We lived together before hand so it doesn't feel too different. But I do like being married. I know that regardless of the stupid things I do, he has my back. And that is a really nice feeling (although we didn't have to be married to have that)

http://lachapstickfanatique.blogspot.com

Courtney Erin said...

I think the question of whether or not to marry is best left to individual couples. I've personally always been rather indifferent to marriage. My husband and I dated for three years and then lived together for two and had no intention of ever marrying (even though we always planned on spending our lives together) but then I got accepted to grad school in another country and getting legally wed was the only way that my husband could move with me. So we married. Neither one of us objects to marriage, we just never saw it as a necessity either and were pretty content either way. It turns out that a legal marriage just suited our needs best in the end but it didn't change anything about our relationship - we were fully committed, owned property together, etc. well before we ever got married and would have continued on that path quite contentedly. That said, marriage is obviously very important to other people and that's great - I think it just varies between couples.

xoxo ~ Courtney
http://sartorialsidelines.blogspot.com

Dancing Branflake said...

Marriage is the most important part of my life. It takes precedence over everything else. Why? Because it involves the complete trust of one another. I can't explain why, but I just love being married. It has been the most wonderful journey of my life.

Vicky said...

I love Elizabeth Gilbert - she's a great writer. My favorite writer is Sophie Kinsella :)


new post: click here:&
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Ana Degenaar said...

I still believe in marriage, despite my situation I understand I am in the lower percent of things. I agree with Tiffany that it is incredibly important and I believe people can be happily married.

Megan said...

I am all for marriage! I love married life, but would encourage everyone to be sure before they make that commitment!

Megan said...

Also, a delicious giveaway on my blog :) you should check it out!

C... said...

I'm single, not dating and don't think marriage will ever happen again for me mostly because I dread another mistake and putting up with crap from some lazy person. LOL I say that in good humor but I also mean it. I like living alone and not cleaning up after someone else other than my son.

Polly said...

I definitely want to be married when I'm older. I just like tradition and I think it's the perfect way of expressing that you want to spend the rest of your lives together and really commit. I would want to be with someone for at least 3, maybe more, years before I married them. I'm only 20 and have only just started seeing someone so marriage is definitely many years off!
xx

Paul & Paula ★ said...

we could be that one couple you talk about... know each other for ages, kids, joined account... and I call him hubby all the time... just the wedding is missing :)
maybe one day... I have a ring...remember :)

SmartBear said...

Welllllll...what a discussion!
I always feel like the old gal checking out your blog, but I'll leave my old gal 2 cents on the matter.
My husband and I met when we were 20. Everyone thought we would get married before everyone else. We were together for 7 years before we got hitched. (the last of our friends and some had divorced). We were also the last of our friends to have a baby (many of our friends are on their 2nd, 3rd, 4th kiddo) We were just never in any kind of rush but knew we wanted to be together.
Here's the thing. Even after being with him for 7 years and living together for 3 of those 7 years, getting married was a big deal. Sure, there's the commitment piece to it. But when I was standing there saying my vows it wasn't the idea of spending forever with my love that overwhelmed me....I already knew I was going to do that. It was the responsibility of it all. We were officially responsible for our lives together. Legally and formally for all intents and purposes. That doesn't sound romantic, and truly maybe it isn't but when you are in the emergency room 9 months pregnant and half conscious and you need someone to make a life or death decision? Romance gets kicked to the curb for good old fashioned practicality. It's an incredible honor to bear that kind of responsibility. Every decision I make and he makes affects our lives together. Sharing a bank account or a child doesn't do that.
It's the most adult decision I have made. But that's just me...
Best,
Tina

dyan of nita scot said...

@SmartBear - Wow. Well stated.
I just started reading this book three weeks ago. That also happened to be the week of my wedding and I finished it while we were on our honeymoon. We dated for 6 years, were engaged for 1 year and lived together for 3 year. Marriage is important to us. It is not for everyone, and that's okay. It is for us. Every relationship and everyones needs are different so I applaud anyone who takes the courage to make their relationship work, however that relationship is defined for them.

Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} said...

my husband and i dated for only 4 months before he proposed...6 months later we got married. it was a whirlwind romance but absolutely perfect. i wouldn't have it any other way! i love that everyone's story is so different :)

b. said...

as a little kid i never spent time playing brides, weddings have always unnerved me as brides seem to be treated as public property, and i am just not like that! as a result i swore i would never wed.
however, the more i think about it, the more i think that marriage is something really special. i do worry that society puts too much emphasis on the wedding rather than how marriage will work, i really admire gilbert for looking at the way her marriage will work, rather than the flowers, it was truly refreshing!

x.

the nyanzi report said...

It all comes down to the right person coming into your life. Then all the lists you have in your head will fly out the window.

There's no formula. We can't help who we fall in love with.

That's Not My Age said...

Me & Mr TNMA aren't married and have been together 7 years. I've never really been that bothered about marriage but I suppose as I get older I've started to feel more sentimental about it - so basically if he asked me I'd say yes!

Amber Blue Bird said...

I have been married for two years now and we were together for 7 years before that. I dont regret my decision in the least but I know marriage isnt for everyone.

Diana Mieczan said...

Tina, that is a very good point! Love your view on the issue.

LESAPEA MUSINGS said...

Thanks Diana for the discussion. I really appreciated Eliza, Faith, C and SmartBear's comments most.

This month will be 14 yrs for us. He remains to this day my best friend.
I never thought I would get married because I was determined I wouldn't suffer through it like my parents did. My Mom and Dad stayed together because of my brother and I and also because they don't believe in divorce, so they weren't very inspiring. They are still together as well. So that's my story.


Lisa xx

Marjorie Rose said...

I know that some people dream of getting married since they were young girls but I never did. I never had that dream to walk down the aisle or have children.

Michael and I bought our home while we were just dating (3 years into it) and he never brought up that he was thinking of proposing to me.

Then one day he did. And it felt right. And I said yes. I think that sometimes the best things in life are not planned at all. Believe me, we have our own difficulties and fights. But we make up. And we love each other very much.. 99% of the time.

I agree with many of the comments here. It's up to the couple. There's no formula. Just keep in mind that marriage is not "happily ever after" but it can be darn close.

Miss Celeste said...

single, but marriage sounds so wonderful and scary at the same time. i think the best part about marriage is you will never be scared of the monsters underneath the bed or in the closet...because you have someone you love with you that makes you feel safe :]

pssssst! hey! there's a giveaway at AlphabetSoup Style

La Feem said...

Marriage is beautiful but it's not for everyone....xoxo

Juliet said...

I am 22 and was married about five months ago, on New Year's Eve. My mother married at 19, and she and my father are very happy, so I always wanted to marry young. I like marriage, for the sense of companionship, and like Tina (smart bear) described, the sense of responsibility you have for each other. As humans, we need each other. We just aren't meant to make it on our own. For religious reasons, my husband and I never lived together or shared a bed before we married, which has worked out just fine for us -- the first few weeks of marriage felt pretty darn special for both of us. (But I would never judge anyone who does does otherwise.) I love marriage and am very happy with my situation :) That's my two cents.

Annie said...

I think marriage is a beautiful thing, but a marriage is much more about love & commitment to me than legality. I felt like my husband and I were married for years before we actually had a ceremony :)

Melissa: Write it in Lipstick said...

Marriage is very important and it takes work. But great things always do .

dressingup-everyday said...

I married thirty two years because I found the right man, if not, I would not mind being single.Marriage isn't the most important thing in my life:
Great and interesting post as usual:)

Sara Szatmary said...

Beautiful and though provoking topic Diana!

Marriage is extremely important to me; however, it is trumped by a stable, happy relationship. I think many people mistakenly link the two without realizing that just because you've said vows doesn't mean your relationship rocks.

Ultimately, love is love regardless of the ring on your finger.

PS: A part of me is so sad writing this because amazing gay couples don't have the option to legally marry. I think its a travesty that people who love each other have to miss out on something that may be important to them.

christine donee said...

Marriage is an incredibly personal choice.

My boyfriend's parents have been together for nearly 35 years, as "partners," since they are not legally married. But oh so in love.

My parents, and countless others, have had several marriages trying to find the one they are truly compatible with.

And I've known couples to marry once and that's it. They make their marriage work, every single day.

I'd like to think that I'll get married, and make the promise, that even though I don't know what exactly the future holds for us, I'll work long and hard to keep that promise.

Christianna said...

Goodness it was fun glancing through those comments! What an awesome question!

I'm a big fan of marriage, though I myself am not married. I'm just about to turn 23 and enjoy being single, though I'm super stoked to find someone to be the Batman to my Robin! The idea of two people making a commitment of marriage to each other, creates a beautiful picture of finding the perfect partnership! I'm gonna have to find one special dude, if he's gonna handle me though!

Kirby said...

I'm married and I'm a big fan. But I also think that you can have just as loving and committed relationship without saying "I Do." I think it totally depends on your situation maybe
alexa
www.theshortandthesweetofit.com

Happy in red said...

Half of my firm isn't married but in a longterm relationship with mortgage, kids, dog etc and they're happy. Others are married. Me? I'd like to get married someday, but I don't care of it's next year or in 10 years and kids or mortgage ('cause we already have one, hehe, a mortgage that is) don't matter. I say: live and let live, love and let love.
Esther.

Connie @ SogniESorrisi said...

I'll be married four years in June (we dated--not living together--for four years before marrying) and being married is really for me. I think whatever set up works for a couple is cool but for me I needed that commitment of marriage to fully move forward to the next phase of our relationship.

Fashionistable said...

What a wonderful discussion. I was at a wedding last week. They are just the best of days. Everyone is so happy 99% of the time anyway. I am on the opposite side of Elizabeth - it was my husband who had just come out of a failed 1st marriage. We met met 8 months after the split. It took him 3 years to get over it. (I have the patience of a Saint....) 2 more years until he proposed, another year until the wedding. 11 years of marriage later - 17 years together. I am so happy I waited. He is so the right and best man for me. We make a great team. Love him more every day. Xxxx

Vanisha said...

I LOVE being married, more so I love being married to my husband. We were together for about three years, we never really lived together, in fact still haven't because of our work...I love it - I can't really put into words why and how it's different from just being in a relationship but it is for me. Especially in Fiji, if you're not married you're not really recognised (socially and culturally especially) as a couple. This has been the best thing I've ever done :)

Bella @Bellgetsreal said...

I say marriage is completely important. Making a promise to one another on paper and in front of God makes you value the relationship more (for me anyways) No easy outs....you must work on the relationship and grow it.

Tanvi said...

I love being married. It has changed me in wonderful ways. But I loved being single too. So it boils down to the whole responsibility which marriage brings. I kinda completely agree with Tina. Marriage is so much more than just love and romance. It is a grown up decision to stand by each other and be there even when things are tough and not in YOUR favor!

Nonetheless I like my husband and hence like being married but I do not think it is for everyone. People need to be realistic when entering it and not just with rosey eyes, 'coz it is not a fairytale! :)

♡ from © tanvii.com

Diana Mieczan said...

Awww...your story is so sweet, Fashionistable! 17 years? That is so amazing:) Congrats!

Steph said...

I've been meaning to read that book. I've always been in pretty long relationships but never wanted to get married. Now, with my current boyfriend, I see it differently and I think it would be nice. But I don't like the hype of marriage. I hate weddings. I think you can have just as good a relationship unmarried as you would married.

Tsuki aka LittleGrayFox said...

I have no interest or desire for marriage. And luckily for me, neither does my man :) I've never wanted to be married, not even as a child. I never dreamed of the perfect wedding, or husband or white dress. I don't want kids and I prefer to just keep up with my current lifestyle -- which is complicated enough! :)

my man and I are perfectly happy together. so why would we need a wedding? i understand to some it's a declaration of love, but thats not important to me. i dont want his name, i dont want his tax deduction. i just want to be able to hang out with him and have fun :)

Nikki said...

I guess I feel like marriage is a way to show someone you're in it for the long haul (obviously you don't really have to be). But now that my Husband I are married and I feel like I have a partner in crime.

Deidre said...

I used to not care so much about being married. Like at all.

But after meeting Inspector Climate, I suddenly desperately want to. I know that I want to live together before we get married though.

I think for me, it's that he's Australian and I'm American and without a legal bond it would be so easy for visas or something to separate us, I couldn't stand for that to happen.

Becky said...

I would never tell a couple they aren't a couple because they're not married, but as a happily married woman I'm a fan of marriage! :)

made-to-travel.com said...

Oh I read committed and I can see why you're thinking of this topic. Their marriage is an interesting circumstances of events, lol.

I actually have not decided on marriage. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we're really happy the way things are. I really believe that these choices are all up to individuals...maybe one day I'll feel the desire to be married to my boyfriend, but right now I'm really happy. I've never dreamed of white dresses and walking down an aisle, but my dreams are always changing so I like to keep my mind open.

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

Happily married to my husband of our 4 children now. We've been together 7 years, married for 5.
This marriage is the second marriage for both of us and we are Catholic--so that meant an annulment and the whole nine yards. But in the end, it was worth it and beautiful and we are SO in love. We were actually married twice (once on the beach and once in the church).
Not every story is a fairy tale--nor does it have to be-but when the love is real--a fairy tale ending is always possible no matter what people choose to do! ♥

SJ said...

lachlan and i have been together for years and years and it was only in the last 2 years that i really became keen on getting married. i don't know why, to be honest i became fixated on it. And now we're finally engaged and i'm not exactly being pro active with the wedding planning! perhaps it's because we've been together so long that we don't feel the need to do it quickly, or perhaps we're just terribly lazy and disorganised!
most of my friends are in long term relationships, with only a few married considering we're in our late 20s. i had kind of assumed more people would be married with kids now but it's not the case at all!

Diana said...

We have been married for a year since April and together for almost 6 yrs. Marriage is very important to me, I feel it brings us closer together and forms a closer connection and bond. For me this is the way I feel, but i agree there are couples who can have children, be together for life and not feel the need to get married, to each their own I say!

But Im old fashioned and love seeing really old couples who have been married 50 plus years and still walk down the street holding hands...now thats love! <3 Great post!

PS my husband and I read "Eat, Pray, Love" and "Committed" together and we loved them both...the movie was pretty good too.

Sara said...

I do believe in marriage. In a romantic sort of way, I guess. Being with your right person and knowing you are with each other, forging a life together. Of course, that does not have to be officiated with a certificate. I am 44, never married. I have two children, same father. At this stage, I'm the one that doesn't want to marry.

Krystal said...

I think marriage rocks, but I think everyone has to choose what is right for them and not feel pressured to get married!

Diana Mieczan said...

Caroline, So true! "Fairy tale ending is always possible no matter what people choose to do"..Love that part:)

Diana Mieczan said...

SJ, its the same with some of our friends, just they are more in their late 30s:)

Diana Mieczan said...

Di, how great that your husband read the books too. I'm a huge Elizabeth fan and I truly enjoy reading her work:) The movie was great as well!

sherri lynn said...

I've been married for almost 9 months. We were together a year before we married, which is pretty fast!! But we've known each other our whole lives. I am a fan of marriage :)

heather said...

What a fantastic post and fabulous responses! Tina's response really speaks to me. Even though the commitment portion is already firm, there is something about the vow and declaring your love and providing security and honesty to your beloved. It does deepen the connection a little.

I think it made me more open to giving myself completely to someone (of course this was even easier, knowing that my husband does the same), because I'm pretty scared of that. I tend to flee situations that might, some time in the future, hurt me (hence, my moving to the southern tip of South America--allowing me to eventually meet my husband in the first place).

Our wedding was TINY (5 people). Neither of our parents came. A type of justice of the peace 5 minute session on a Tuesday during Ramadan in Turkey. But afterward, we honeymooned. I changed my name, which felt wonderful! (I'd always said since I was a teenager, no way in hell will I change my name for some guy!) And people treated us differently. I can't explain how, but they do. Like we are in something that cannot be questioned any more. It's kinda like naming a baby. Or giving a name to something. It somehow solidifies this intangible thing.

Whew! Longest comment ever. And kinda deep too! I like :)

Lila @ Justnibble and bellagetsreal said...

about a year and a half ago I separated from my husband of 23 years. It was and is the hardest thing to I have ever gone through. Slowly I am building my life back and have found Cheffy. Not sure if I can shake the bad taste my last relationship left on me but I am hopeful and enjoying my new romance. I can see marriage again in my future just might take a little more time than last to seal the deal again.

Diana Mieczan said...

Lila, I'm so sorry to hear that, but I am so pleased you found someone special:) Big hugs!

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