Let's talk babies and age

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Over the weekend I found out that two of my friends are expecting and for some reason in the last month or so it seems that everyone around us is planning to or is having a baby (it happens every spring, doesn't it?). Anyway, we were talking about babies and age a lot lately with the girls and it seems that many of them had a set age by when they wanted to have their first child. So darlings, I'm really curious and I would like to know your view on this too. Do you have a set time by which you want to have your first child or you'd rather go with the flow? Also, do you have kids or do you want to have them in the future? And if so, how many? Let's chat, shall we? xoxo

Btw: This little pregnancy video will make you want to have a baby right now. Isn't it sweet?


(photos are of Elizabeth and Elodie when she was 3 months old, video via Lovely Morning)

83 comments:

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

I always wanted to have kids very early- My age that I wanted to have my LAST baby was before thirty- Lucky for me I had my last baby when I was 27. I finished four years of college and had a baby right away- followed my husband while he did medical school. Now I am done- my kids are getting older and I look forward to enjoying my forties while my kids are in college.

Vintage is for Lovers said...

I always joked that I wanted to have my first baby by the time I was 30 but as I have proven with my two baby boys: I don't plan these sorts of things. Both of my babies are love children. No planning. My husband and I eloped when we were pregnant with James. (It was quite the controversy.) Either way, when you put too much pressure on time, gender, etc., something pure and special gets lost in the process. When they are ready to come into your life. They will show up. I am all about the love child. xo Samantha

Lady Grey said...

I'm 29 right now and went the career route first, so no kids yet.... but as I approach the big 3-0, I'm definitely starting to plan. I think kids are right around the corner for me : )

Chapstick Fanatic said...

I think as of right now I would like to have them at 27 and 29. But then I realize that is only 3 years away and it freaks me out. I still don't feel like an adult yet!

http://lachapstickfanatique.blogspot.com

Mango Gal said...

My husband and I have been married for three years, I'm 27 now, and been thinking more and more about when we are going to begin having children. I've always said that I wanted to at least have our first by the time I was 30, that's less than 3 years from now. As we're settling down (finished school, establishing our careers, saving for a house) I think it might become a reality soon...although the thought it leaving me a bit wide-eyed.

Zondra Art said...

I have two girls and I am a bit younger I would have another child.
It's nice to have two children, me quite enough.
Kisses and nice Tuesday.

Paper Heart Girl said...

I hope to have kids in about 10years time, when I'm 31. I want to have a house and career (and husband) securely in place!
Although, I love babies and imagine I will start getting broody as soon as a hint of a newborn starts becoming a regular part of my life.
Though, I don't mind waiting :)
xxxxxxx

Kellys Art Journaling/ Sharing The Journey said...

I had my babies at 24 and 26 and I wouldn't change it for the world. Now I am turning 40 this year and my babies are teenagers. Hubbub and I still have our whole lives ahead of us - Now bring on the grandchildren - LOL (Just kidding)!

katie said...

i feel like i have heard a bit of baby talk lately too, i think spring is in the air! i defiantly want a few kids, 2 or 3. and i have thought about it over the years, when i'd want to have babies, and i think that my goal is in my late 20s. i'm almost 24 now, and just about to finish school and start my own business, so i need to let that happen for a few years, and then we'll see!!

Anna Walker said...

By the time I'm 30!!! BUT I do think that 25-27 would be a fabulous age to start! :D

http://annawalker1992.blogspot.com/

hi-d said...

What a sweet video. The end brought tears to my eyes and makes me almost want to go wake up little Maximus and cuddle with him. :)

As you know I just had my first child last month. And I was 40 years old. I would have never imagined having a child at this age, but I am so happy that's the way it worked out! It was totally God's timing and plan. I couldn't be happier.

Oh, and he provides some good blog material as well. haha...
http://hi-dho.blogspot.com

Sara said...

I went with the flow, I suppose, since it took awhile to meet the right guy. My first was born a month after I turned 36. My second was born when I was 43 (w/ a few m/c in between). I am running ragged right now as she just became mobile! I had 7 years into my career (traveled, school & work during my 20's).

Laura said...

Well, I remember thinking as a little girl (ok, even as a naiive high schooler) that I would absolutely be married no older than 24 and have my first baby at 26. I wanted four kids, each two years apart, and I wanted one of the births to be twins. (Type a planner much??) Now, at the ripe old age of 23 and completely single, I realize the dream of being married by 24 is likely out the window and 26 seems to be too just around the corner. So I guess my new plan is to have at least one baby before I am 30. I still want to have 4, so I don't want to be just starting at 30.

TheChambrayCountess said...

Funny you say that because I feel like 2-3 yrs ago was the season of weddings and now it's the season of baby showers!
I don't know when I will have kids, but I have learned that life never goes according to plan, so I will just see what happens ;)

Noodles and Waffles said...

My husband and I want to travel a bit more before we have kids. While that means I'll be in my mid-30s when we try to have kids...I'm okay with that. I'm selfishly loving all the time I get to spend with my husband.

While having kids at a younger age would have been nice, I don't think I was ready. I've grown a lot myself these last couple years....so...no pressure.

Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} said...

i love talking about/talking to/looking at/playing with babies!! i'm 24 now, so maybe in 2-3 years i'd like to have at least one? we shall see :).

Yaima said...

I´am 30 already and no feeling mom at all, just want to dance out at night, enjoy buying clothes and been at home really late, i dont have any reason not to have kids cause I have a great husband, a new home and Ive studied everything I wanted but love to have fun without any responsability, kisses

Diana Mieczan said...

Vanessa, that sounds really exciting and Kelly, hahah...you are so funny!

Diana Mieczan said...

He is so adorable, hi-d!

Happy in red said...

Hm, for me not such an easy decision as there's a genetic illness in my family. Both my mom and sis have it and I could give it to my child. Puts the romance a little out of it I'm afraid. Luckily my friends and family know about this so they don't nag me and the bf about "when are you gonna have kids already". We have been together for 4 years almost, bought a house together 2 years ago. Things feel good between just the two of us (plus I am not done partying and traveling just yet... planning my next looooong trip!!) and if mother nature feels like blessing us, then so it shall be. Didn't mean to make this a 'heavy' post, it's just different I guess :-)
Esther.

Diana Mieczan said...

I love those comments and all the different points of view..

Amy said...

I waited til later in life and that came with so many complications and set backs, years of trying with no results then finally surprise here he is...being older the body does not have the same bounce back. I am so tired now in life. I wish I would have had him younger to have the energy it takes, and so that my body could have healed better
but so glad it did and so sad that I can not have another.

wishful nals said...

adorable photos. everyone is having babies it seems! that time of year.

Dragana said...

I always wanted to have children and couldn't wait to have a first one:) I had my son at the age of 23 and my daughter at 27. Now I am thinking that I was very brave and rather careless. Although I do not regret it as I feel I have my second youth now. (I am 40)

Designwali said...

i always wanted 1 before 30. Did that. I had my daughter at 29 and son at 31. Now i'm 35 and wondering if I should go for #3...hubby thinks i'm mad. I do think it would have been nice to have them a few years earlier...but life happens.

marissa from the boot said...

i was all set to think about the little ones until my future sister in law had a baby and i experienced a newborn first hand.....and now i think i'll be waiting awhile. haha :) i want to really live my youth to the fullest and do everything irresponsible and spontaneous until that day when i decide i'm ready.

coolkids said...

I was 30 when I got married. Turned 32 two days after my daughter was born and was 35 when my son was born. I would do it all again at the same ages.:)

Brittany H. said...

I'm 32, and my husband is 26. I think we will wait until I'm 34 and then do it. (Just so he can get a little bit older, and we can enjoy each other for a few more years).

X

...love Maegan said...

I thought I'd have my career set at 23, get married by 25, have my first baby by 27 and the second by early 30's ...and live happily ever after.

Life doesn't always work out how you think it will ;)

I can't get pregnant. So regardless of when I wanted to have my "first" kid by ...I'm pretty sure there will be no kids at all.

Katie Jo said...

I'd love to right now...I'm 28...

Hopefully by the time I'm 30 or 31 =/

Kris said...

I always said I wouldn't get married until 30. I'll be 28 this summer and have been in a relationship for almost 10 years now! Not sure if I ever had a pregnancy age. I'd love to have a daughter but not sure I can ever manage a child financially in this world. Again, would love to have one... but sometimes I also think there are too many people on this planet. :o( I'm sure when I'm in my 30's I'll be thinking differently! Going off birth control sounds lovely too! :o)

Melisande said...

i definitly want kids, always have. i've never had a set age, though i would prefer to be a young mom. my boyfriend is 8 years older than me though, so that does change things since we are at different places in our lives. whenever it happens, i know i will be the happiest girl in the world.

Lenore @ Lather. Write. Repeat. said...

I never really had any set plans, but now i'm getting married at 34 so who knows what will happen!

XO
Lenore

THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE said...

Never had any set plans and now the clocks ticking I fear. Workin on it! :) Xoxo

FRANKIE HEARTS FASHION said...

I think my husband and I will have kids in the next couple of years...I'm not getting any younger but we are not quite ready yet!

Liv said...

i never had a plan, but around 24 or 25, i felt like it was time for me and my husband to have a baby. we had a bad work situation though, and we had to wait a loooong time. the month i found out i was pregnant, my husband lost his job AGAIN.
through it all though, we hung on for dear life and through a MIRACLE he is now working full-time again while i mostly stay home and raise our 7.5month old daughter. it's amazing. i don't know if i can go through the newborn stage again though, and we may only have one child. she's worth it though.

Amber Blue Bird said...

wow that video was precious. I would like to have a baby soon maybe within the next year or two.

Diana Mieczan said...

Ohhh..Maegan, I bet you will have one for sure. I have a friend who was trying for 8 years to have a baby and after all that time their doctor said that there is nothing more he can do to help them! About six months later they adopted a little girl and a year later she was expecting a little boy! So Im going to keep my fingers crossed for you:)

Diana Mieczan said...

Samantha, I love what you said...awww

Emily said...

Im not married yet so this baby talk may be a tad premature BUT I definitly want to have kids. My ideal plan would be to have baby number 1 around 26-28 and baby number 2 about 4 or 5 years after.My sister and I are 4.5 yrs apart and I think its perfect!

Minnesota Maven said...

I'm thinking by the age of 34. I need to be settled in my life and I currently am not, grad school must still occur. Babies are amazing and cute and everything sweet, but right now I satisfy my kids urge with the odd babysitting job for my friends.

Megan said...

I didn't have a set age in mind, but started earlier than I should have - at 19. Luckily, it's all worked out well, and I had my second at a more respectable 26 years. I would like to have a third. Babies are the best :)

Paul & Paula said...

even so I did not want kids for some time I always knew that IF YES than before I am thirty :)
I was 27 when pregnant with the first:)

And you? What is your plan?

Len♥reNeverM♥re said...

Oh Diana...I want to squeeze the baby's cheeks so badly!!!

idratherbeshopping said...

love this topic! i always wanted to be a young mom so i'm hoping to have my first baby in the near future. i always thought 26-28 would be a good age to have your first so you can be a young mom!

xo,
joAnn

Sam said...

I just let it happen when it happened however next baby I may plan it a bit more. It was 114 degrees the week I delivered and I swore I would never be in my third trimester in the summer again!

Dancing Branflake said...

All my friends are having babies and it's crazy! My Facebook page is loaded with baby announcements and photos. It's beautiful and so fun.

Vanisha said...

I've really enjoyed reading all the comments! Thanks Diana. I'm 24 and my husband is 37. We're hoping to have our first baby in the next year or so. Our problem is all the moving around and we're often in different countries. So we're hoping to stay put long enough in one place (together!!) soon to at least get the process going ;)What about you Diana? Have a lovely day ladies :)

S and O said...

awwww cute pictures!
hope your having a great day...
xoxo
Olivia

DB said...

I'm a go with the flow kind of girl. But then, I'm also 18, so I have some time.

My mom had me when she was 40, so age really makes no difference to me.

Amanda* said...

I'd love to have a baby NOW, especially after watching that video :) But when the time is right...

Deidre said...

I don't want kids. So I don't really have an age where i'd want to have them :)

However, I'd like to get married before I am 30. I used to not care, but now that I am in love...

Mrs. Parker said...

I dont' know that I have a specific age that I want to have kids by -- more that there are specific things I want lined up before I have kids.
xo anna

Amanda Swann said...

I got married early, which was kind of a surprise, so we wanted to take some time to play and grow up a bit before we became parents.

I was always told that "you'll know" when you want kids. For me it wasn't like that. I was never baby hungry, it just felt like we were ready and it was time.

I also don't believe in having a set number of kids that I want. I know that having a ton of kids is not for me, so maybe one more, maybe not.

Cute post.

The Cheeky Cafe

Aubrey {All Things Bright and Beautiful} said...

This is a very interesting post and I'm just totally laughing at everyone and their "plans"...not in an offensive way, just in the "it's hilarious what everyone thinks they will do before it happens" kind of way...All I have to say is I will be 30 in a couple months, have two little rugrats that I love to pieces and would love to strangle half the time...I'm so glad that the plans I made for myself were *not* the way things worked out! (c:

ag. said...

I wanted to have babies fairly young as I grew up with a younger mother and thought it was so great. I'm 26 and now that I'm married, having two kids by thirty seems like what we're planning on. I won't be disappointed if it doesn't quite go to plan but when my husband and I talk about our future, that's what we hope it holds!

SJ said...

i think 30 had always been an age where i figured i would like to start thinking about it.

i'm 29 this year so i'm realising that's REALLY close! once we get married and all that craziness is behind us, i think we're going to think about it pretty seriously. it's kind of scary and exciting at the same time!

what are your plans?

Alyce said...

that video is such a nice momento! I will have to remember that when the time comes. We are definitely planning for children soon (I'm 32) but living in NYC makes it seem more daunting than romantic. I have faith ,however, that everything will turn out okay :)

jillian :: cornflake dreams. said...

OOO exciting!! i would have babies yesterday if i could :) but seriously... i want to do a few things before h and i start a family. we want to travel to a few countries, have the wedding, finish paying off my student loans... after that baby time can come-- im thinking 3-5yrs. but i'm not set on a specific time. ahh getting excited just thinking about it! not to mention we already have names picked out. ah well. what about you? any bitty bebe's in the future?

xoxo jcd

Nikki said...

Oh the biggest question of my life it seems. I wanted to start at 30, but suddenly Husband isn't on board. To him, children=money and he doesn't want to worry about that. I have to respect, but if you've always talked about children then what? It's a huge cloud in my neck of the woods right now. I'm a ways off at the moment (especially after witnessing my nephews birth and about to see my niece be born), but I do know I want a baby someday.

Carly said...

I had my son Connor 6 days before my 30th birthday...best Bday gift ever!
I always wanted to have children around 30- but it all happened very naturally and organically...
I am feeling all this PRESSURE for the second child tho...like everyone giving their opinions on how far apart they should be in age....doesn't feel right yet...so I am waiting...Feel so lucky to have my little family right now..just enjoying it:)
C

Omgitstiffduh said...

I cant wait to have kids one day!

Diana said...

These babies are so adorable and beautiful. I love babies but Im glad I can return them to their mothers. I have two teenage stepdaughters and have been with them since they were little girls. I missed out on the baby experience but Im ok with that because babies are a lot to handle and I have realized that its not the stage I want to handle. I love my stepdaughters as they were my own. <3

Kirsty said...

When I was a little girl I wanted my first kid at 23. I thought that was very reasonable. I'd be all grown up by then and that's when my Mum had her first too.
Now that it's my 22nd birthday tomorrow, I realise just how young that really is!
At 16 I watched my Mum give birth to my baby sister. It was scary. The screaming was intense and I know my Mum was holding back because I was there. However it was so amazing, it's only helped me want a child even more.
Now I'm thinking between 26 and 29. Definitely before 30 at any rate. Though preferably I'll consider myself grown up enough at 26. Though the rate I'm going, I'll never consider myself grown up. :)

Krystal said...

I have no set age but by the time I'm 30 I guess...so better start thinking of it soon. I am just not one of those people who WANT kids but...I feel like I should have them :) How about YOU?

Justine said...

Let's talk babies Diana ;-)
http://unesardineario.blogspot.com/2011/03/juin-2011.html#comments

Diana Mieczan said...

Krystal, SJ and Peggy, we are planning to have one baby in the next few years. We are not sure when exactly.

Diana Mieczan said...

Carly, I feel the pressure too!

Diana Mieczan said...

Nikki, Ohh Im so sorry! I got all teary reading your comment. I hope you both can talk it over.

Leetid said...

I feel like everyone around is having a baby too!!! This is making hubby very broody but we have decided to wait for another three years when we are out of debt and be able to move to a better area and house.

Carrie @ Laugh Love Eat Ice Cream said...

When I was a little girl I thought I would get married right after graduating college and start popping out babies.

I definitely think there is a right time for eveyone, and that time is different for everyone. When I graduated college and friends were getting married, I couldn't imagine it. Four years later I was getting married and it seemed/seems like it was perfect timing for me. I think having children is similar.

I started getting "baby fever" about a year ago, but it was pretty mild. Now that fever has spiked! We're planning to start trying in a couple months, after we go on a trip to Europe and I am so excited. If things go as planned, I'll be 29 when I have my first. :)

Tracey said...

I know so many people who have had problems and miscarriages. When you first try i honestly think you are shocked if you don't get pregnant if you've tried for years NOT to get pregnant. I always knew i wanted children and i didn't see any point in waiting til i'd done everything...just in case it didn't work out straight away. So happy i did. On number 3 now...Will have 3 under 4 years by the Summer. Arrgh but then again i never wanted to regret not having a big family when i got older. I'm 33 this year.

My bestie had her first babe fine but has tried for two years for more and lost three babies along the way...so sad. When i see her i know i made the right decision to just get on with it and i know i'm also a very lucky gal.

For some people there is never a right time. I think if you feel like this, the only decision is 'are you happy to live without ever having children?' If the answer is yes, then take all the time in the world. If the answer is no, then i wouldn't wait too long. Funny enough its the one decision you never regret. No one ever wishes they hadn't had their child....or at least i've never met one!

Meagan - lots of love and good vibes for you too. I know someone who took 7 years, loads of failed IVF, said there was nothing else they could do and bang it happened. But i also know some very happy people with adopted children too. So it doesn't have to be 'never' for your first...i hope. xx

hi-d said...

I have been fascinated reading everyone's responses. It seems like a lot of people want or have had kids in their 20's; however, I am running into a lot of people that are having them later in life.

Like I mentioned in my previous comment. I am 40 and just had my first child last month. My husband and I had been married for 14 1/2 years. I am so blessed...and would not have wanted to have children when I was younger...well, let's just say that we both had some growing to do. Anyway...when I got pregnant, I had twins, but I miscarried one of them really early on.

My heart breaks for the women that so badly want have children, but cannot. It's so sad...but there are so many children that need good homes...through adoption, being a foster parent or a step parent.

Diana, that was so sweet what you said about your step daughters. I bet you are a great Mom.

I absolutely loved this post!
hi-d

p.s. Would you be okay with me adding your blog link to the side bar of my blog? I'd love to if you don't mind. :)

wallspank said...

I'm 40 now and never wanted children. The thought of considering someone else when making decisions does my head in. I have never felt a pang of doubt about it, despite coming from a large family and all my siblings having kids. I'm glad I'm now at an age when people stop asking if I want kids!

Rachael said...

When I was in high school i always tough i'd be married by 24 and have at least one kid by 26. I just turned 26 earlier this month and I have done neither. I don't think i'm ready to have a baby just yet, but I am ready to be married. Maybe i'll have a baby by 30 or 35. No rush, but I don't want to be to old when my kids are in college. :)

Annie said...

I'm thinking I'll have my first by 30.. I used to think 24, but that was when I was a teenager ;)

this free bird said...

Diana I've had so much going on and have really missed visiting you. So glad you mentioned this post in your post today.

I always thought I'd be married and have kids by the time I was mid to late twenties. Here I am well beyond that and neither of those things has happened. It used to bother me, but what's meant to be will be. I've learned a lot about myself so if I were to have a baby or adopt in the next couple/few years I'd be fine with it.

This is a GREAT post.

xoxo,
Carrie

Sabina said...

It's hard as I'm still a teenager, but this is what I think (and of course, this might change as I grow older and learn more)... The plan is - get married at 22 after university (there is a reason why this number is so specific, I'm not a lunatic :P ), have some 2-3 years to live together, free, travel and all. And then come the first child... and probably around three years after the next one. But I'm not sure if I'll be content with having another one so soon, as I am quite an ambitious person and don't want to neglect neither family life nor career, so that will be difficult I suppose :)) Which is why it's good I still have loads of time to think about these things :))

xxx
www.sabinasupernova.com - come visit me if you want ;)

Lexi said...

That video had me tearing at my desk. So incredibly moving. I'm 27 and still feel wholly unprepared. But they say you're never ready. My husband and I talk about it like it's a faraway mythical creature, but I know that's the first step. Eek!

xox Lexi
Glitter & Pearls

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

How did I miss this post?

Well, I think it totally depends on the person. I started really wanting to have children around age 24...but I am glad I waited another 5 years before we started having them. So, I was almost 30 when I gave birth and now I am 34 and I have 4 children. I am glad I waited because I was pretty immature in my 20s. I didn't know what I wanted in life, I didn't really even know myself very well. I think my 30's (for me) have brought me a sense of confidence and confidence is good to have when parenting.

But all that being said, any woman who chooses to have a baby is welcoming the best thing in her life into her world. No matter what age.

Jenarcissist @ the closet narcissist said...

I'm late coming into the conversation, but I had to comment, as I'm pregnant with my first child! I'm 3 months in and am 30 years old. I always thought (from the time I was little) that I'd be a mom by 20. Various things in my life prevented this from happening, and much to my surprise, I was really okay with that. I think some 20-year-olds can be fabulous moms (I know one in particular). But for me, personally, I will be a better mom now than I would have been ANY time in the last 10 years. I had a lot of grief and insecurity to work through so I could truly discover myself and then be able to pass along this sense of self-love to my child.

Gosh, that video totally made me cry. It would've even without the pregnancy hormones that are surging through me, but that made it worse. ;) Such sweet documentation that the little girl will cherish as she gets older. My favorite part (besides when the baby came, of course) was all the belly shots. I started keeping a journal to my baby from the beginning, detailing out everything we're doing as we do it and all the emotions and even the fears and bad days I experience. Someday he or she will read it and know how much we loved them well before they were even conceived.

Diana Mieczan said...

Jenarcissist, congrats on your pregnancy!!! That is so exciting and I was all in tears watching that video too. I love what you said about keeping a journal..Awww..so sweet!

HiLLjO said...

I didn't have an "age" to have kids, I just wanted them before 28 personally. I want to be under 50 when they finish high school like my parents were; they had enough energy to handle me while they had to.
Now that I'm 24 it's the right time, though, so I guess 24 is the age when I'll *hopefully* get pregnant, and by 25 I'll have our baby.

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