Baby and Age Part 2

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Oh my goodness, thank you all for the heartfelt comments last week on the "baby and age" post! I was glued to my notebook even a few days after the post was published reading your notes. It was so interesting to see how you feel about the subject. Your reaction reflects that it's very individual, it's all about what's right for you. I'm so impressed with your honesty and as some of you touched upon the subject, I wanted to continue the conevrsation and ask:
How do you feel about adoption or surrogacy?
Do you have family members or friends who adopted before? Or maybe you are considering one of those options yourself? Be honest! xo

(photo by René Maltête via The Crunchy Apple)

51 comments:

Samantha said...

I think adoption is a beautiful thing. There are so many children that age out of the foster care system each year that it breaks my heart. I've always wanted to adopt a child and that was my original plan before I got pregnant. My husband on the other hand isn't comfortable with the idea. His sister has adopted 4 teens through foster care and said it was one of the best things she has done. Hopefully he will change his mind.

Aubrey {All Things Bright and Beautiful} said...

Aw man, this is a really tough one...we have family members that adopted and it is such a hard process on *both* sides...they still have some contact with the mother (a teen) and they couldn't be happier. My 18 year-old brother-in-law found out he has testicular cancer about 6 weeks ago and asked my hubby if he wouldn't mind being a surrogate if, y'know...thank goodness that so far that doesn't seem to be an issue...but we can't help but think about how hard that would be knowing that you had a child that you weren't raising!!! Anywho...now that I have spilled my guts on your comment section...honestly even in best case senarios, they are tough situations!

Sara Szatmary said...

I adore the idea of adoption. One of my very best friends is adopted, so I have always thought about it as a parenting option. Each child is beautiful and worthy of love. Why not open up your heart and home to one that needs it?

Not so sure about surrogacy. I have no personal experience with it; however, my opinion on matters like that is always: make yourself happy in whatever way you need. If surrogacy makes someone happy, I say go for it!

Diana Mieczan said...

So beautifully said, Sara!

Anna Walker said...

I was adopted! I am so happy that my birth mother realized that should couldn't take care of me because I have no idea where I would be today. I think it is good in certain situations.
I have no idea about surrogacy I would never be able to do it for someone else thought, because being pregnant with a baby and feeling it inside of you and then having to give it away? I don't think I could ever do that!

I love your questions Diana! :D

http://annawalker1992.blogspot.com/

Brittany H. said...

My mom was adopted. She eventually found her original mother (I ended up with three grandmas!) We found a whole other family that we didn't know we had. I guess all options have postitive and negative sides. I think the most important thing is to make sure you are in a very stable and loving relationship.

xxxx
www.brittanyhavican.blogspot.com

Amy said...

I think adoption is a wonderful and beautiful thing for others it just isn't for me. Even though I can't have anymore I still don't feel I could go this route.
If my sister didn't have the same messed up body that I did, we were going to ask her to be our surrogate
but alas that option is off the table
so no more babies but furry ones to come to this house.

jenny said...

I have adopted two twin Ethiopian baby boys and they have changed my life in the most beautiful way. Seriously... they have saved me. SO... I may be a bit biased... but i think adoption is a thin slice of heaven.... not easy... but Heaven on earth.

Sunny & Star said...

I am very open about adoption and surrogacy. I believe the best way for each person to have a family is different and that all avenues should be considered. I am an attorney and have handled adoptions for some clients.

Btw, we are having a giveaway on our blog to celebrate its first birthday. Would love for our to enter.
http://sunnydaystarrynight.blogspot.com

Paige said...

I have four adopted siblings and I must admit there are times when I think "I will never ever adopt". But really, when I hear the stories of what some children have to go through, my heart breaks for them and I want to do all I can to help. So when I do start a family, I will most likely adopt. It's so great to read everyone's comments on this topic :)

Vintage Barn 27 said...

I believe that souls find their way to you through your womb or someone elses. No matter how they come into your life, they are meant to be.

Jen said...

This is such an interesting topic! (I need to go back and read part 1 again!). It's amazing how popular adoption is. The older I get, the more people I find out were adopted or had family members that were. This is such a fabulous option for people and I'd never ever rule it out.

Thanks too dear for your kind words. I've been a little MIA lately because all that is happening but it's good to be back. It's amazing how great blogger friends can be!! xo

Diana Mieczan said...

Brittany, how fantastic and you are such a lucky girl to have three grandma's. Aren't they the best?

Diana Mieczan said...

Jenny, your boys are so adorable:)

jillian :: cornflake dreams. said...

h and i are absoltuely open to adoption, we have discused it as an option if we cannot have children and even if we can. i have an aunt who has adopted five children and they fit in perfectly with our family. i also have another aunt who was a surrogant mother for her brother (whose wife cannot have children) she got pregnant with twins! being a surrogant mother is one of the biggest gifts a person can give. i would consider doing both :) xoxo jcd

Something Old, Something New said...

That picture is so cute!

I think adoption is such a great option for people. There are so many kids who need help out in the world. I do plan to have at least one or two children of my own some day, but would definitely consider adoption as well. Great post!

xoxo

Ren- Lady Of The Arts said...

I don't think I would ever want to be a surrogate- It would be very hard to carry a baby that you don't get to keep-

katie said...

i like these discussions! i was just talking with one of my good friends a few days ago about this. and i feel that if my man and i couldn't have babies i would for sure adopt. i'm not one for hospitals and needles, so i really don't think that i could handle hormone and fertility treatments, so i think that if we couldn't make it happen naturally i would defiantly adopt.
and i could never be a surrogate! theres no way i could carry a baby and then give it away! but i think that the women out there who do that are amazing and offer such an amazing gift to other women!

xo

Mrs. Parker said...

I really like that you're talking about this topic Diana! Hubby & I have talked about the option of adoption in the event that we aren't able to have children ourselves. Thankfully we're both open to the idea. For us having a family is more important to us than how we have that family. Surrogacy would be hard I would think...but I've never really thought about that option.

Laura said...

I personally could never give a child up for adoption, but I do very much want to adopt a child in the future. I would like to birth 3 children and adopt a fourth. I think so many children out there need a good home, and I'd love to be able to do that for a child.

Dancing Branflake said...

Maybe adoption. It's a tough topic to discuss both ways. In my dreams I'd love to take in any child that needs a mother but in reality it's a little hard to fathom.

Omgitstiffduh said...

Love this picture and I would definitely adopt a child that needs a home!

Minnesota Maven said...

I see no problem with both idea's but really adoption is a more appealing option to me. I have actually considered that option, we have so many children in this world that would certainly benefit from having a more stable environment than a fostercare.

Diana Mieczan said...

I love all those comments!

Eliza Jane said...

My older sister is adopted, and there is absolutely no difference between her and me in our family. In fact, one of our aunts forgot she was adopted, and two weeks ago made the comment of how much my niece (who's obviously not blood related) looks like me, and how my nephew (again, not blood related) must get his height from our father!

Annie said...

I think adoption is a beautiful thing, especially if you aren't able to have kids of your own or even if you can. My cousin adopted and it all worked out so well :)

Carly said...

I am a firm believer that everyone who yearns to feel the unconditional love of a child should do whatever they need to do to get there. Whether it be adoption, surrogacy or pregnancy...all are beautiful and selfless and at the end (although all processes can be painful and difficult) there is SUCH JOY!
C

Carrie @ Laugh Love Eat Ice Cream said...

I agree with previous posters that it breaks my heart there are so many children out there that need a good home. I don't know if I could adopt though. My big reason is fear. It may sound really silly, but I think genetics plays a huge role in personality and emotions. I definitely thing environment is huge too. I would be worried about raising a child that could have problems down the line. I think it's wonderful people adopt, but I just don't think I could do it.

I would be open to surrogacy if we had fertility issues. But I would want to do IVF first. I want to experience pregnancy and giving birth!

Lisa Lisa Lisa said...

Adoption is such a gift.. to the child, to the parents, to everyone involved. The key is remembering what is best for that kid. Sometimes it means adopting more than one so siblings can stay together.

I think surrogacy is fine too... I have a very difficult time judging how other people should foster their own families. Life is beautiful, who am I to judge?

Paul & Paula said...

I especially feel very blessed to have 2 beautiful and healthy kids... and I have as well a lot of friends who are struggling, crying, freaking out... because their wish to have a child is not fulfilled...

this free bird said...

I just commented on your other post and loved reading the responses along the way. This is such a great topic to delve into. Bravo!!

I do have friends who adopted a little boy. He was 5 when they got him and is 7 now. I am fully in favor of adoption and surrogacy. All children need to be loved and if you are unable to have children biologically or just want to explore alternatives it is completely freedom of choice.

xoxo,
Carrie

Anonymous said...

Since I dont have any problems getting pregnant I wouldn't concider surrogacy. If somebody close to me would ask me to be a surrogatmother then I would most probably agree. Some people say that it would be hard to give the baby away but I am thinking of what joy this baby would give his/her mother and father. It would be too selfish not to share that feeling with somebody who wishes for a family.

Before we had our daugthers my husband and I were talking about adoption too. Now our girls are 6 and 3 years old and my husband wants another one :) Even the youngest is talking about how she wants another sister AND a brother! I have said no. So far I am still studying and I want to experience a little bit of life without diapers and long awake nights. But in the future (if we will ever have more children) I think that adoption would be the only option. Going though another pregnancy just doesn't appeal me. And I would rather take care of somebody who needs it better.

quintessence said...

I would never presume to say what's right for anyone else. I think as long as someone is prepared emotionally and financially to have a child then any method is acceptable.

La Feem said...

Adoption is amazing and a great way to create a family if you cannot have kids or just want to take a child in need into your life. Children are a blessing no matter how they enter your life. xo

Tiffany said...

For me, personally, I've been strongly considering surrogacy, but then again, I've also been strongly considering not having children at all. As far as I know, I'm able to carry children, but I just know that pregnancy and child birth are not for me. If we decide that we want to be parents, someday, I definitely think we'll be going the surrogate route.

Design Elements said...

I absolutely agree with quintessence. wonderful picture!

Nikki said...

I'd probably adopt over surrogacy. I don't have words for why. We have friends who are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia and it is such a process. Of course anything worth it is right?

My Husband said he would rather adopt than have one of our own. I haven't come to terms with that one yet. Of course marriage is all about compromise and if I want a baby that's a sure way to get one!

Diana said...

Its such a great topic with so many different answers based on each person, how they were raised, and their own personal experience.

PS adorable photo, that little kid is too cute!

I was reading some of the other answers and I agree with many, adoption is a wonderful idea for many who cannot have children or for people who want to help children with no home or family. I also agree that surrogacy would be a little emotional, but if a close friend or family member needed help I would help them out and I would want the same if I needed it. <3

A Casa da Vá said...

Hi Diana I jus found your blog and I am happy I did! I read your original baby post and watched the video - couldn't hold my tears! Oh I wish I could have a baby like right now, but just turned 30 and in middle of jobs and career choices, not good time to give it a try you know... Besides I have endometriosis so it might take a while for me to get pregnant, not sure... either way I think adoption is on the cards and I think it is a beautiful thing to do!

hugs and kisses from Rio!
http://acasadava.blogspot.com/

ag. said...

If I can't have children, I would definitely adopt. There are so many children out there deserving of loving homes and I think adoption is a wonderful choice to have. My dad and stepmom tried to have children for such a long time and one of their friends even offered to be a surrogate for them. Watching them go through what they did and to see their friend so generous and selfless was such an amazing thing. I definitely say to each their own when it comes to such personal matters but I for one am for both adoption and surrogacy.

Megan said...

I think adoption is FABULOUS!! I'm able to have my own kids, but if I had a big enough house to hold more, and finances to do so, I would LOVE to adopt. My heart goes out to babies or kids that need a loving family.
Also, I'd be interested in being a foster parent. I've heard horror stories about some foster situations, and it breaks my heart that kids are sent to bad homes.

Lexi said...

I desperately want to adopt and my husband is surprisingly against it. It actually kind of scares me that we can disagree on something so fundamental. But, he grew up without a dad and he is big on making and raising his own kids. Any psych majors want to take a stab?

xox Lexi
Glitter & Pearls

Melanie's Randomness said...

I think adoption is one of the most wonderful things. If you can give a child love and a home when you can't have a child of your own I think that's beautiful and just Awesome!

Melanie's Randomness

Caroline of Salsa Pie said...

I have a friend who adopted and I have a friend who was actually a surrogate mother for another couple who could not conceive. Both are people I admire so much and I learned so much about adoption and surrogacy through their beautiful journeys. I can't imagine if I was not able to conceive, but I think if we had not been able to we would definitely adopt. There are so many children in this world that need a loving home--it's such a beautiful thing to adopt.

DB said...

I don't know much about surrogacy, but I do know a lot about adoption.

Both of my sisters were adopted. My older sister was adopted from my mother after she got pregnant in high school. My mom adopted my younger sister shortly after I was born. Both of them were raised always knowing that they were adopted. It's only a big deal if people try and make it one. If you turn it into a big secret, it just gets more dramatic. Both have met their birth mothers and there is a stable relationship there.

My boyfriend was always adopted, as was his brother. As opposed to the closed adoptions of my sisters, theirs were open, so they've always known their birth mothers.

I'm a total fan of adoption.

Diana Mieczan said...

It's so interesting to read all your comments. Thank you so much!

Diana Mieczan said...

Laura, that is exactly what one of my friends did. She has 3 girls and she just adpoted a little boy!

Diana Mieczan said...

Nikki, Im so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

Sara said...

My mom is adopted. She spent some time trying to track down her birth parents and eventually discovered their last name. Her adoptive father, a doctor, birthed her ('43) so she knew somethings, such as they were young and in the army. She went through a time of wonder and feeling alone after her adoptive parents died. I had always considered adoption, but living out of my birth country, was not able to. Surrogacy - strong heart. What a gift to give.

Nicole Marie said...

my dads adopted, my 2 little brothers are adopted and i plan on adopting 2-4 children when i grow up :) that basically sums up how i feel about it

hi-d said...

I have a cousin that was adopted. My Aunt was told that she wouldn't be able to have anymore children after her firstborn. I found it so interesting that when my Aunt adopted her daughter, she was able to nurse her. It's true. I didn't know that this could happen, but it did. Anyway...she ended up having another child after that adoption. Go figure...what do Doctors know.

I think adoption is a wonderful thing. If you look at it this way...that child is "chosen" by his or her parents. It's something very deliberate. The child should feel so special in that sense.

Another fascinating thing about adoption is to google famous people who have been adopted. Here are just some of the names I came up with: Aristotle (philosopher), Art Linkletter (comedian), Dave Thomas (founder of Wendy's), Eleanor Roosevelt (First Lady), Faith Hill (country singer), John Lennon (musician), Moses (Biblical leader), Nancy Reagen (First Lady), Nelson Mandela (politician), Nat King Cole (singer), Scott Hamilton (figure skater), Steve Jobs (co-founder of Apple), Alexander the Great (King of Macedonia, 356-323 B.C.), Charles Dickens (writer), George Washington Carver (inventor), Halle Berry (actress), Ingrid Bergman (actress)...I could go on and on.

It just goes to show that each baby is a blessing and gift.

Blessings!
hi-d

As far as surrogacy...that's an interesting subject. It's not a road that I think I would travel, but that's something that each individual needs to decide for themselves.

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